On July 26 1837 Eugene wrote a letter to his mother encouraging her to accept the decision of Louis de Boisgelin to enter the Jesuits and stating how one cannot oppose God’s call.
“Nothing more natural, my dear mother, than the feelings Louis’ decision had brought on you. I understand your chagrin, and up to a point I share it; but pardon me for saying they are excessive in your case. After first allowing nature its say, one must learn to calm oneself and see things ultimately with the eyes of faith, in a supernatural way. […] To God alone belongs the right to call each one where he will and as he wills. […] Who knows! perhaps he is reproaching himself for having resisted the attraction of grace, and does not want to put off any longer obedience to the voice of the Master who is calling him.” (188:XV in Oblate Writings)
This speaks to me, I find myself here. Like Eugene, when I first learn of something, hear of it, I find myself ‘reacting’ often very strongly – but then with prayer and reflection I come to a space of wondering why I made such a fuss about so little. It is my way and I say that not as an excuse but rather as a fact of being.
Was it not been like that with Eugene himself? It was most certainly with me – “having resisted the attraction of grace – I no longer want to put off obedience to the voice of the Master who is calling me”. And like Eugene I have no qualms about calling my Beloved the ‘Master’ for he is God – the one true God – above and beyond all other gods. Perhaps is thus for all of us as God calls to us, or at the very least for many of us. I am grateful that I did not wait any longer.
I really don’t know how I was able to hold out against His invitation – for it was for this that He created me.