GOING DEEPER …. ASKING TO BE TRANSFORMED IN THE ORDINARY OF THE DAY

Reflecting on the notes of St. Eugene de Mazenod’s 1837 retreat that highlight the ongoing transformation of Eugene as a result of what Al Hubenig wrote was gained from the Calvary of Icosia (Living in the Spirit’s Fire).

Above all, I must humble myself profoundly before God for having become, by his grace, so different from the person I once was, even though, while I should, in fact, be at the height of my perfection, I am overwhelmed by my need for further renewal – the edifice must be overhauled from the very foundations upward.  I should be able to say: ecce adsum, ecce ego mitte me.(latin translation: behold here I am, send me)  But my strength is weakened, if the salt has lost its savour, if the light no longer shines, how can I respond with confidence to the Master’s call?  Lord, help me; come – you yourself – to my assistance:  Deus in adjutorium meum intende; Domine, ad adjuvandum me festina. (latin translation: God come to my assistance; O Lord, make haste to help me

I think that I could repeat these words myself – so perfectly do they describe my journey home to – with – God.  Never in this life shall I reach perfection.  In truth – as I go along I seem to recognize how far I have not come, the road continues to stretch far in front of me.

And all that I pray and say here, all the realisations that I come to are moments of grace that are the stones and pebbles that I walk on in my journey.  They alone do not aid any of those I serve, nor will they feed the hungry or cloth them.  But they will help to create and recreate a base from which God sends me, that I can move out from. So great is this love and I am so keenly aware that I cannot keep it to myself.

I do the little things which many would not see of any value.  My loving and serving is the stuff of the ordinary and not of much note and yet it brings a very definite quiet joy that comes with this small way of living.  And at times I struggle with it for like many I seem destined to want to be noticed, re-affirmed and appreciated.

Behold Lord here am I – at your service.  Most Merciful Love come to my assistance and please hurry to help me, that I might do your will, and go where you send me.

 

About Eleanor Rabnett

Oblate Associate
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