On May 27 1835 Eugene again wrote to Fr. Guigues at Notre Dame de l’Osier about not taking on too much work outside of the mission – the job he has been given, about the need for more brothers and about how to rely on God to lead us where we will go.
…If the missionaries of Lyon are asked for, may God’s blessings be on their works. But beware of driving yourself as if it were a challenge. In God’s name, go back to the bosom of the community to renew yourselves in the spirit of your vocation, otherwise it is all up with our missionaries, they will soon be no more than sounding cymbals.
The responsibility falls on you, it is my duty to alert you to it. Hold fast to the observance of the Rules, amongst other things, be faithful to the theological conference, remember that this is obligatory.
Let us learn more and more to quiet our desires and let our will follow where Providence indicates through the events that it permits or originates. (516:VIII in Oblate Writings)
Here again St. Eugene could well be talking to me for even as I was reflecting on this I was looking at what I can let go of.
And now the small questions arise – who will take over from me – who will step up. There is a small fear that if I let go there will be many who step forward to pick up what I am doing. Does that mean there is nothing special in what I have worked so hard at? Will they do it the way that I wanted to see it done? Why do I do things in a particular way? There is no pure goal here – I am a mixture of many motives – not all of them totally attractive. I feel a little divided and wonder if I have betrayed myself. I think of St. Paul and how he spoke of being strong and weak in the same breath.
I must await what God has planned for me.