GOING DEEPER AND LAYING MYSELF BEFORE GOD

In Eugene’s continuing retreat notes he writes:

The best thing is to abandon myself to God to apply myself specially to consider what is going to be done in me by virtue of the Most High, and the obligations I am going to contract on receiving the plenitude of the priesthood of J.C. [he quotes in latin Ps. 112:5-8] There you have precisely what the Lord has done. These words will be engraved on my mind and I will keep them before my eyes all the days of my life: […] Dust and ashes as I am, I am really going to be lifted up among […] God’s People”.(166:XV in Oblate Writings)

Psalm 112:5-8 reads:  “It is good for the man gracious in lending, who conducts his affairs with just.  For he shall never be shaken; the righteous shall be remembered forever.  He shall not fear an ill report; his heart is steadfast, trusting the Lord.  His heart is tranquil, without fear, till at least he looks down on his foes.”

My heart takes flight on so many points of wonder.  It is shocking how much I find myself inspired, directed, guided and led as I walk with St. Eugene.

Unlike Eugene I prepare only for the ordinary of daily life. I sit with the quote from Psalm 112 which seems to be written with “male” only wording, not letting it deter my reflection.  There is a small hurt there that I acknowledge then move past, letting it sink in for a moment and be healed by the blood of Jesus that was shed for me, for all.  It would seem that this is as much a part of the cross as anything else.  This has come out of nowhere, not words I am used to using – but it is Lent and here I am led, guided and carried-through.  I am grateful for all that God gives me and accept that this is where I should be this morning in Lent – allowing my heart to burn brightly and beat fiercely.

God deliver me from myself.  Help me to let go.  I am yours to command and so I lay myself before you, awaiting your word.

About Eleanor Rabnett

Oblate Associate
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