In a letter to Fr. Courtès in Aix Eugene writes:
“Believe me, my obedience and resignation are undergoing a stiff test. […] deference to the will of Him to whom we must all submit, the merit inherent in this sacrifice and the opportunity it affords of offering God each day the homage of one’s own will.” (Letter To Father Courtès, at Aix, September 27, 1832: 433:VIII in Oblate Writings)
Such is the opportunity Eugene speaks of “to offer one’s own will”. This is such a tender reminder to me of why I am here, on this earth, in this place– it is not for my glory but truly for the glory of God. Always that is underlying even if I try to sometimes cover it up.
Yes the notice and acknowledgement of my peers and loved ones is great but that cannot be the reason for who we are. A friend spoke yesterday of my great generosity and while it is true – that I am generous – it does not give me thrills that someone noticed because in all truth this is how I have been created to be – it does not come from my own efforts but rather from something greater than myself. And I am a little aghast at what I am saying – because although it is good and natural I am fearful of sharing that out loud, as if it were bad to do so.
I am reminded of an article on Humility, and how humility is always about truth, not in a boastful way – just in a way that says how things are. The truth of the matter is that I am a sinner, I am quite ordinary with all of the human frailties that there are and then some while at the same time I am beloved and in that I am beautiful and generous and most perfect. It all rests in “God”. “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26).
Human meets the Divine but only because God reaches out and touches us (on our own we would not be capable of connecting with God). The seed is planted within us and for that I give thanks.