“The sense of belonging to a single family was allowed to grow dim, at any rate he let months and years go by without writing to me. Perhaps he considered I was already informed, a common excuse with the wayward, while as an open-minded and lenient judge I merely bemoaned. […] You know the man is sound at bottom but over-much esteem for learning to which perhaps he gave preference over sanctity caused a withdrawal of grace and light; then, over-much care of his health led him to neglect even things that can never be abandoned with impunity..” (Letter To Father Courtès, at Aix January 7, 1832: 413:VIII in Oblate Writings)
I found myself reading this several times. What to make of it? Here we have St. Eugene sending a man to the house in Aix along with a letter to Fr. Coutes about his new charge.
I have always found myself ‘wanting’ (as in needing) in the area of a formal education, about business, about God and my religion, about spirituality and the way it’s ‘supposed to work’. I don’t have that and so I don’t really know how it’s supposed to work. All I know is how it is in my life, my experience of life, of God, of grace, of love.
I wonder what Eugene would say about me if he were sending me to a house to join with the community there? Would he note my lack of education or would he perhaps see what I have used in place of learning – like much esteem for writing, or the ‘way I see things’. Would he mention how much I love God?
How would I find my way in the community?